I was Saturn.
My Bestfriend was Sun.
Here is my Story.
As a Saturn in the relationship, the Sun has been my best friend for over 20 years. When we met in college, we stuck by each other through every phase of our lives to this day. I admired her; she was a solid base for me, stern and unwavering. I felt like I was locked in with her, and we did everything together.
In the synastry, as the true Saturn, I was wary of all her decisions. In the beginning, I judged her by the way she dressed, walked, and completed tasks. I thought she was slow and lazy, simply not fitting into the program of life.
I felt a strong urge to pick up where she lacked and guide her. I felt like the knowledgeable older sister. It stroked my ego because she asked so many questions, but I was also bewildered that she did not understand basic concepts in life and did not take the time to learn as much as I did.
Her ‘I don’t care’ attitude bothered me slightly, but I was fine with filling in the gaps. I felt talented at everything and she lacked. However, I did feel she made me look good by being by her side. Together, I felt we were powerful. She confided in me, and I did as well. We talked about everything in depth: work, school, men, and relationships
However, I remained the steadfast figure responsible for guiding her. She placed her trust in me, and even her family entrusted her well-being to my care, believing that as long as I was there, all would be fine. I took on this responsibility wholeheartedly. When she was on her own, she often made questionable decisions. She refrained from informing me, knowing my tendency to be judgmental.
There were times when I harbored disdain for her because things always seemed to work out for her while I had to struggle. I recall one instance when we were both working at the bar together. She received a $2000 tip, whereas I only made $300. I had been working for three hours longer than she had.
I also found myself envious of her support system and family. At the time, I was distant from my own family, and I felt like the adopted cousin in hers. In fact, I technically moved in with her and her family. They supported her through every mistake she made, even when I deemed them foolish. I distinctly remember her crashing three cars, yet her parents still footed the bill each time. In contrast, I had to work double shifts one summer just to save up enough to buy a car, only for it to be stolen within a year.
Today, I regard us as equals leading different lives. She is now married and demonstrates dedication and hard work for her family. Over time, I’ve come to value her unique approach and decision-making process. I’ve learned that there’s no singular right or wrong path to achieving goals. While I still perceive her as slow in some aspects, I now recognize and appreciate her diligent efforts.
Reflecting on my past treatment of her, I realize it stemmed from my high expectations. Looking back, I may have been envious of her seemingly effortless journey through life, while I assumed the role of her rescuer. She always relied on me, and this dynamic influenced my behavior towards her. Despite our differences, this bond is for a lifetime.
She did provide value to my life. Together, we formed a dynamic duo. While I often felt the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, she served as the driving force that energized our foundation.
I acknowledge her contributions to my life, yet I firmly believe that I stood as a reliable pillar in hers, regardless of her actions. Despite my tendency to critique her decisions, I still hold the belief that she could be more proactive. However, mutual respect defines our relationship today, and ultimately, that is what truly matters.